Real Estate 12 Days of Christmas (Satirical Version)

satirical 12 days of Christmas for Realtors

on the first day of christmasOn the First Day of Christmas, My Broker Gave to Me...

a client who insists on making ridiculous offers like properties should be free.

on the second day of christmasOn the Second Day of Christmas, My Broker Gave to Me...

two new agents to train and a client who insists on making ridiculous offers like properties should be free.

on the third day of christmasOn the Third Day of Christmas, My Broker Gave to Me...

three contracts with contingencies, two new agents to train and a client who insists on making ridiculous offers like properties should be free.

on the fourth day of christmasOn the Fourth Day of Christmas, My Broker Gave to Me...

four buyers of homes who cannot get loans, three contracts with contingencies, two new agents to train, and a client who insists on making ridiculous offers like properties should be free.

on the fifth day of christmasOn the Fifth Day of Christmas, My Broker Gave to Me...

five showing service fees, four buyers of homes who cannot get loans, three contracts with contingencies, two new agents to train, and a client who insists on making ridiculous offers like properties should be free.

on the sixth day of christmasOn the Sixth Day of Christmas, My Broker Gave to Me...

six days to a sell short sale headed to foreclosure hell, five showing service fees ... four buyers of homes who cannot get loans, three contracts with contingencies, two new agents to train and a client who insists on making ridiculous offers like properties should be free.

on the seventh day of christmasOn the Seventh Day of Christmas, My Broker Gave to Me...

seven cheap "best agent" trophies, six days to sell a short sale headed to foreclosure hell, five showing service fees .... four buyers of homes who cannot get loans, three contracts with contingencies, two new agents to train and a client who insists on making ridiculous offers like properties should be free.

on the eighth day of christmasOn the Eighth Day of Christmas, My Broker Gave to Me...

eight property management "needs," seven cheap "best agent" trophies, six days to sell a short sale headed to foreclosure hell, five showing service fees ... four buyers of homes who cannot get loans, three contracts with contingencies, two new agents to train and a client who insists on making ridiculous offers like properties should be free.

on the ninth day of christmasOn the Ninth Day of Christmas, My Broker Gave to Me...

nine listings with titles clouded with liens on the properties, eight property management "needs," seven cheap "best agent" trophies, six days to sell a short sale headed to foreclosure hell, five showing service fees ... four buyers of homes who cannot get loans, three contracts with contingencies, two new agents to train and a client who insists on making ridiculous offers like properties should be free.

on the tenth day of christmasOn the Tenth Day of Christmas, My Broker Gave to Me...

ten grumpy inspectors were causing buyer defectors, nine listings where the titles are clouded with liens on the properties, eight property management "needs," seven cheap "best agent" trophies, six days to sell a short sale headed to foreclosure hell, five showing service fees ... four buyers of homes who cannot get loans, three contracts with contingencies, two new agents to train and a client who insists on making ridiculous offers like properties should be free.

on the eleventh day of christmasOn the Eleventh Day of Christmas, My Broker Gave to Me...

eleven invitations to hand out to an office birthday party for the newly recruited top agent named "Marty," ten grumpy inspectors causing buyer defectors, nine listings where the titles are clouded with liens on the properties, eight property management "needs," seven cheap "best agent" trophies, six days to sell a short sale headed to foreclosure hell, five showing service fees ... four buyers of homes who cannot get loans, three contracts with contingencies, two new agents to train and a client who insists on making ridiculous offers like properties should be free.

*** Pause Music and Please note - Marty is coming from a rival firm, and your Broker is treating him like a God since he has generously decided to grace your brokerage firm with his mere presence.

on the twelfth day of christmasOn the Twelfth Day of Christmas, My Broker Gave to Me...

twelve tire-kicking time-wasting clients who are lying and ain't buying, eleven invitations to hand out to an office birthday party for the newly recruited top agent named "Marty," ten grumpy inspectors causing buyer defectors, nine listings with the titles clouded by all sorts of liens, eight property management "needs," seven cheap "best agent" trophies, six days to sell a short sale headed to foreclosure hell, five showing service fees ... four buyers of homes who cannot get loans, three contracts with contingencies, two new agents to train and a client who insists on making ridiculous offers like properties should be free.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

 

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jeff KnoxJeff Knox is the Broker Owner of Knox & Associates REALTORS® in DFW and the creator of most of the content on KnoxRE. Jeff's real estate articles and opinions have been featured on websites like Realtor.com, Fox News, U.S. News & World Reports, Inman, RISMedia, and more.

Jeff was initially licensed in 2004 and has held a Texas Real Estate Broker's License since 2009. Jeff and his team of REALTORS® work all across the entire DFW Metroplex helping both buyers and sellers with condos, townhomes and single-detached properties. Jeff may be reached directly at [email protected]

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